M.O.M. Squad

When people refer to moms who can 'do it all,' they picture this:

When in fact, it's more like this:

I truly believe that M.O.M. stands for Master Of Multitasking. This thought came to me before bed the other night as I was washing my face with one of those pre-moistened cloths (who has time for ACTUAL water?), while simultaneously swishing mouthwash, and peeing. Yes - all at the same time. You're welcome for the visual.  For me, it's really my own fault when I don't get things accomplished.  I am a great multi-TASKer, not a great multi-FINISHer.  Maybe this is because sometimes I'm juggling Words With Friends and Facebook, but at any rate - there's a lack of focus on my part.  I have good intentions, though.  I START many tasks in the time I'm home after work while my daughters are in school. 

I begin by getting a load of laundry out of the dryer to fold. Then, maybe I'll get a text from a friend, so I reply.  Then I make a snack, and think to myself that I should really get a chalkboard for the pantry so I can keep a list of groceries we need.  So, I hop online to shop for chalkboards.  While I'm thinking about a possible purchase, I feel a stray eyebrow hair.  I go to the bathroom to pluck it, and notice the TP supply is low.  I get a roll, let the dog out, see my phone on the counter and check my texts, and check my emails.  I do some work that one of my emails asks me to do, and then go get my snack where I left it - in the microwave.  I re-nuke and eat the snack, go to the garage fridge to get a soda, and notice that the kids left their toys where they can get run over.  So, I pick up the toys, and it dawns on me that the dog ran off.  I stand outside and yell for him until he comes back, and then the baby starts crying.  I change the baby and feed him and we make faces at each other for awhile.  Then the older kids are home from school and I've accomplished nothing.  Notice, I never got back to that laundry, half of which is still in the basket getting wrinkled, and the other half that had been folded was just walked on and knocked over by the dog, who got excited that the girls walked in.  Suddenly, I feel exhausted after being up at night with the baby and working early in the morning.  So I get mad at myself and think - if I wasn't going to accomplish anything anyway, then why didn't I sleep while the baby was sleeping? Now, it's too late.

Somehow, even with all of the things we're juggling - even the stuff we don't need to be that we pile on ourselves - we get it done.  Appointments are made and bills are paid (mostly).  At some point, laundry DOES get done and food gets in bellies.  We're the homework helpers and the RSVP-ers, the boo-boo kissers and the butt-wipers.  And that's why we're the superheroes known as - The M.O.M. Squad.

Now, if I could just remember to take meat out of the freezer once in awhile, I would be invincible.