M.O.M. Squad

When people refer to moms who can 'do it all,' they picture this:

When in fact, it's more like this:

I truly believe that M.O.M. stands for Master Of Multitasking. This thought came to me before bed the other night as I was washing my face with one of those pre-moistened cloths (who has time for ACTUAL water?), while simultaneously swishing mouthwash, and peeing. Yes - all at the same time. You're welcome for the visual.  For me, it's really my own fault when I don't get things accomplished.  I am a great multi-TASKer, not a great multi-FINISHer.  Maybe this is because sometimes I'm juggling Words With Friends and Facebook, but at any rate - there's a lack of focus on my part.  I have good intentions, though.  I START many tasks in the time I'm home after work while my daughters are in school. 

I begin by getting a load of laundry out of the dryer to fold. Then, maybe I'll get a text from a friend, so I reply.  Then I make a snack, and think to myself that I should really get a chalkboard for the pantry so I can keep a list of groceries we need.  So, I hop online to shop for chalkboards.  While I'm thinking about a possible purchase, I feel a stray eyebrow hair.  I go to the bathroom to pluck it, and notice the TP supply is low.  I get a roll, let the dog out, see my phone on the counter and check my texts, and check my emails.  I do some work that one of my emails asks me to do, and then go get my snack where I left it - in the microwave.  I re-nuke and eat the snack, go to the garage fridge to get a soda, and notice that the kids left their toys where they can get run over.  So, I pick up the toys, and it dawns on me that the dog ran off.  I stand outside and yell for him until he comes back, and then the baby starts crying.  I change the baby and feed him and we make faces at each other for awhile.  Then the older kids are home from school and I've accomplished nothing.  Notice, I never got back to that laundry, half of which is still in the basket getting wrinkled, and the other half that had been folded was just walked on and knocked over by the dog, who got excited that the girls walked in.  Suddenly, I feel exhausted after being up at night with the baby and working early in the morning.  So I get mad at myself and think - if I wasn't going to accomplish anything anyway, then why didn't I sleep while the baby was sleeping? Now, it's too late.

Somehow, even with all of the things we're juggling - even the stuff we don't need to be that we pile on ourselves - we get it done.  Appointments are made and bills are paid (mostly).  At some point, laundry DOES get done and food gets in bellies.  We're the homework helpers and the RSVP-ers, the boo-boo kissers and the butt-wipers.  And that's why we're the superheroes known as - The M.O.M. Squad.

Now, if I could just remember to take meat out of the freezer once in awhile, I would be invincible.

Morning Drive

"Morning Drive" is the term used to refer to the time of day when people are getting up, getting ready for and driving to work and listening to the radio at the same time.  It is quite a challenge to be the choice for people to literally wake up to each day and we hope to make people do the exact opposite of that nasty little button on their alarm clock.  Working on a morning show is often a sought-after position, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have been working mornings for most of the time I've been in radio.  I chalk this up not so much to my radio brilliance, but more the fact that I like to have a conversation and respond to what someone else says, rather than be on the air by myself.  There is a real art to mastering either type of format, and a multi-person show is my comfort zone.  Also, I luckily discovered early on that if you make a mistake and you stumble and freeze or act ashamed - people will have a low tolerance and think you're ditzy and terrible, especially if you're a woman.  But, if you make a mistake and can make fun of yourself, people are much more forgiving and relate to you as a normal human being. 

Working Morning Drive has required several personal adjustments throughout the years as my life has changed.  I worked mornings right out of broadcasting school and had to learn the basics, including the fact that there was, in fact, a 4:30 IN THE MORNING.  Then, I worked with someone who really didn't want me as their partner, but management made them.  THAT was a brutal couple of years.  Then I worked in Minneapolis and was a producer/third mic on a show that taught me SO much about doing morning radio that it was an invaluable experience, and to this day I think back to things I learned there.  Finally, I was ready to go back to being co-host and producer of my own show, but that required a different way of working because my partner was my boyfriend of 2 years.  At first, we did not reveal that we were in a relationship because we didn't want anyone's professionalism questioned.  Behind the scenes, and after our audience knew we were a couple, we had to set personal and professional boundaries.  And of course, we had to be able to poke fun at each other without actually hurting each others' feelings.  We have had some not-so-great moments, but for the most part it has been incredibly fun and now I can't imagine working with someone that I WASN'T that close to.

Nine years , a wedding, and three children later - here we still are!  Children brought a whole new challenge to this job.  The biggest thing we had to figure out was childcare so early in the morning.  When we had our oldest daughter, we had someone come into our home in the mornings and then I would work from home the remainder of the day.  We were soon expecting a second child, and things were too chaotic (I couldn't get my work done) and expensive for home childcare.  We were extremely lucky to find a daycare that opened early that could take both of the girls.  The six years we have spent getting our girls up at 4:30am, bundling them up over their pajamas in cold weather, and driving them across town to daycare are precious memories for me.  It was insane, but it was our life, and we loved it.  My kids went from cooing to conversations about what boys they have crushes on.  (In fact, I started a facebook page dedicated to the things they said, often on this drive, just so I could look back and remember those moments:  Sh!t My Daughters Say.)  After the chaos of getting out the door each day, there were questions and answers about the stars and the moon, singing to favorite songs, or sometimes just watching their sleepy little faces eat a "gorilla" (granola) bar.  This was our own, private "Morning Drive" show and I couldn't imagine anything different.  It was starting to wear on us, though, and when we saw THIS on many mornings, we started thinking there must be a better way. 

Yes, the microwave says 4:50am, and our daughter is sleeping where we set her on the kitchen counter. I turned around to get her a snack and her coat and boots, and she fell right back asleep.

And in truth, there were times I wondered if it was worth it.  Was I being selfish putting my kids through this just to keep doing this job?  I love what I do, but I love my kids more.  Not only do I not even know what else I would want to do now, I don't know what I could do.  I shouldn't say that.  I know I CAN do anything, but it would require more schooling, etc.  I have an associate degree in broadcasting, and that's it.  This is what I know.  But thoughts kept running through my head, wondering if I shouldn't find a new path.  Is what I do even important?  I don't help sick people.  I don't build things.  I don't teach, which is the one other profession I've aspired to do.  I started discounting my job as being paid to 'goof off' and sell advertising, and I was beating myself up for putting it before my family.  But when people that listen to the show would call or email or I would talk to them at events, I started realizing it did matter to them.  A lot.  I am the one informing them about what's happening around in our community and I was THEIR escape from the daily grind every day.  I couldn't believe how much it meant to them to have that.  It made me realize that although I'm not curing diseases, people want to connect with others emotionally and have a reason to laugh.  Grown-ups, contrary to the popular belief of children, cannot do whatever they want.  They have jobs and bills and stress in their relationships and I realized that I was filling a need to give them temporary relief from all of that.  I read a statistic, which I have not verified, but since I've spent considerable time with humans I don't doubt it's true - that children laugh an average of 140 times a day.  Adults - 6.  So I do consider it my job to raise that number.  And since laughter is the best medicine, maybe I'm helping to save people after all.  So amongst all of the craziness of juggling family and work, I had this self-doubt to muddle through and luckily decided I can have this career, that it is important, AND at the same time raise good, healthy, resilient kids.

Then, our oldest daughter started school.  We started thinking about how it would be better for her to get more sleep instead of being interrupted by this drive across down.  And I struggled with a lot of guilt about not being the one doing her hair and sending her off each morning.  No matter how many times I told myself that I was available to pick her up after school when a lot of parents had to work and put their kids in Kid Stop, I still felt bad.  We tried changing to a home childcare situation, but it didn't work out and they went back to daycare.  And really, she did very well and our daycare lady was incredible.  She was like a second mom to them for so long that keeping the old routine was best, and our daughter did thrive in school.

This year, 2012, has brought big changes.  We moved into a new house, and had a baby boy this summer and our youngest daughter would be starting kindergarten in the fall.  We thought how nice it would be for the girls to go to school near their neighborhood friends instead of to the school near our daycare.  We would have to pay for busing if we stayed at daycare (don't even get me STARTED on that) and not from our home to the school close to it.  The in-home care conversation continued, and we did more to get the word out and advertise the job in order to find the right person that we could trust and would do a good job, and that we could hopefully afford.  It was extremely heartbreaking to leave our long-time daycare and I shed a lot of tears over it, wondering if we did the right thing.  There would really be no way to know until we were in the trenches, and once we committed to the school registration, etc. - we had to hope for the best.  We literally didn't have a way to get the kids off to school if it didn't work.

Lo and behold, we gave notice to our daycare and had hired a girl to nanny.  We had asked her specifically if she was still looking for full-time work and for her to assure us she would give us a solid commitment through the school year.  She assured me she was not still looking for work and was all in, so the day before our little boy was born I registered the girls for their new school.  And then, three weeks after he was born, and two DAYS before the girls' last day at daycare - she dropped the bomb on me that she accepted a full-time job and was quitting us before she even started.  So I spent the last three weeks of maternity leave with all three children home, the house in chaos, and in a frantic search for a replacement.  I hoped I wouldn't have to crawl back to my daycare lady since it would have been the second time we tried another option and had to go back.  But, if I had to in order for them to have good care, I would have.  You know how people say 'everything happens for a reason,' and when you're in the middle of shit hitting the fan all around you, that's the last thing you want to hear?  Well, in this case - it was true.  I do feel we made a mis-hire with the first girl, especially after seeing how we hit the jackpot with our current nanny.  She is truly a Godsend and we are so thankful to have her!

Now, school has been in session for 2 weeks, and I've been back at work, too, and we are settled into a new routine.  The kids are in the care of an amazing young woman who obviously loves children and already cares about mine. Weirdly, we have known she and her mother, though neither of them really well, for quite some time.  Her mom actually had been suggesting she babysit for my kids back when she was a teenager.  But I didn't know them well, so I never made the call.  She applied not knowing the family she would be working for, and it was crazy how it all came together.  We're finally breathing easier, confident it will be a great situation for years to come.  (Or else, she knows I'll tattle on her to her mom.  Kidding!) The girls MOSTLY listen to her as she gets them fed and dressed and off to school.  She texts me pictures of the girls and our baby boy while I'm at work so I know how things are going.  And, she has been doing all of these lovely extra things to keep the house clean, and THAT is phenomenal.  I get to come home and can snuggle with my baby or keep working without feeling guilty about the housework, and even sometimes catch a nap!  Our household is already less chaotic and stressful because everyone is getting more sleep (other than baby feedings for me).  There isn't all this running, and I honestly want to pinch myself that things get to stay this way.  I couldn't even tell you the number of times that I forgot my daughter's glasses, or backpack, or CLOTHES in the rush out the door to daycare, and I don't have to worry about that anymore.  I miss my Morning Drive with them terribly, but now I have more drive in my morning!

Oh, Boy! Getting ahead of myself.

My baby boy smiles at me now.  I'm not sure if there is a greater reward in life than the pure, unabashed joy of a baby smiling just at the sight of your face.  It makes me so incredibly happy that we decided to take the leap and have one more child.  I have loved raising my girls, obviously, and they bring me joy every day.  But this little boy has a strangle-hold on my heart that I never expected. 

I told Matt when we found out we were having a boy that I just hope I raise him in a way that if he's ever on TV he will say "Hi" to me.  We had been watching the state high school hockey tournament when I made that comment.  After having two children already, I'm highly aware that you don't just 'have a BABY.'  You have a human being that you have to raise through many, many stages, and the baby part is over quickly.  Then, before you know it, they are talking back and have a will of their own.  I haven't gotten to the teenage years yet, and the thought of a teenage boy in the house was such a foreign idea!  Will he mope around and not talk to me, talk back to me, be crazy and reckless?  Maybe all of the above.  (This was while he was still in my belly, so I realize I was getting a little ahead of myself.)  So I watched these boys playing hockey, trying to get my mind around raising a boy and all that it would mean.  They would skate into their lineup before the game, and look into the camera.  Most of them said, "Hi, Mom!"  Others didn't, and even though there may not be any big reason for it, I felt so bad for those moms. 

Now I can't wait for every moment, and even though he's not even two months old I keep wanting to drag my heels into the dirt and make time slowww down.  I know only too well how fleeting this time is, and knowing it's likely our last kid makes me want to hold on tight to his babyness.  Night feedings and being back to work make me tired like any mom, but it really is the sweetest time in the world.  I love the quiet.  It's the only time our house IS quiet, and I hold him and dance with him without any music.  I feel his sweet breath on my neck and hold his little butt at my chest until he's humming and sound asleep.  I feel sad thinking that in a blink we'll be dancing at his wedding and someone else will take care of him.  And then I think, if that bitch hurts my son, she will have a fiery wrath come down on her the likes of which she has never seen. 

Here we go!

I should probably take up jogging, but today - it's blogging.

Whenever anyone has asked what I like to do, or what I dream of doing one day, my answer has been 'to write.'  However, I'm not so great in the follow-through department, and it has taken me years of saying I write to actually write this - my first blog post.

The title of the blog is a tribute to my two lives.  I am the co-host of a morning radio show.  My husband is my co-host.  More on that later.  'Marconi' is for the first scientist, Guglielmo Marconi, to achieve successful radio transmission.  (If there's any kind of transmission to be famous for, I guess that would be the one to shoot for.)   

I'm also a mom.  Mother of three, as of late.  As a mother, I am constantly telling my kids to "say cheese!"  In my job I say a lot of cheesy jokes.  As a mom, a DJ on the go, and as a plain old lazy cook, I also make lots and lots and lots of -- you guessed it.  And like the comfort food, our show aims to be "comfort radio."  We want our audience to feel like they're hanging out with friends.

I have a few reasons for feeling the need to blog all about it.  I want to keep record of raising my kids because they're the sweetest and funniest beings on the planet and it would be sad to forget the fundamental hilarities that will make them who they are.  And, I just think life is too short not to laugh at it.  Humor is essential to keeping the sanity in my marriage, job, and raising kids.  I'd also like to show my kids that if you really love to do something, you should do it.  It doesn't need to be recognized for greatness or make you money.  If I'm the only one who actually ever reads what I write, I will still so enjoy reading back on it.

So welcome to my little blog.  Hope you enjoy, but if you don't, that's alright.  There are always cat videos.

Amy